Friday, October 3, 2014

When we love someone who don't deserve us


Often we hear people say, “I don’t know what was I thinking” or “I can’t believe I went through all that”. Sometimes they claim that they were too good for a relationship which didn’t last long and the list they have is extensive on things that was wrong with the one they loved. At some point of life we all use this "common sentence" when in conversation with someone, or just thinking through what happened in our pasts. I
find it strange when people open their mouth and say something really bad about the ones that were once an integral and close part of their lives- someone they could not imagine to be separated from. We should take responsibility of who we let walk into our life, be with us, or even hurt us rather than complaining about them. People that were once in our lives were a solid reflection of our own being, our own existence at that particular phase in life. Imagine yourself a few years back, imagine the things you did and how you’ve grown to this date. Well the best I think you can do is open your timeline on facebook and go down to the beginning of your history and read through your life! You will realise how fond you were of those people who gave you so much to learn from and who are responsible for who you are today. What you have to do is honor all the people, good or bad as you may think, for creating this wonderful path for you which lead you to be where you are now. Whatever current choices, relationships you have is because of the decisions you made in the past and you have to believe in your choices for making you a wonderful person as you have become. Often people contradict these sentences by saying that they did not choose to get hurt, cheated or played with but the reality is far more complex as in some way you made your own choices and you accepted to get hurt, happy, cheated, or the love you got from them. Inspite of the hurt, you did learn and that heals everything. We grow and we become more aware, we get acquainted with ourselves, thats when we realise how unhappy we are with those people who once made us happiest but then gradually made us miserable. The people who we now can not stand is as a matter of fact our own reflection, our essense that we no longer feel connected with. Respect those people and by doing that you would have respected yourself. Instead have faith that you have grown and recognise where that growth came from. When we let someone down or when we are let down by someone we love, the only way of healing is by accepting our/their choices and thanking those people who hurt us and made us better people. When we get hurt, we also hurt people in ways that we may not know. These people were once great aspects of ourselves but they were either not ready for us, or perhaps we were not ready for them. We hurt ourselves by hurting these people, but eventually the universe opens doors for us and we end up falling in love once again and being happy which replenshies our hearts once more. As they say, Love is the most powerful healing energy. Remember that the relation that will forever last is the one with our ownself. When you love yourself, you become capable of loving someone else. You love you and then we love you too.

What May Be Wrong?


Being away from India not only gave me perspective, but also stirred a strange thought of the capabilities India can have as a strong country. Its definitely not a patriotic feeling or a proud emotion for India but a sad ironical thought. Personally, I have very little sense of politics and none when it comes to how politicians work, but it is common sense that draws this faint conclusion in my head that India could have been a great country only if our politicians and citizens were capable of handling and resolving issues that are now so big that no matter what anyone does, won’t be solved without major personal and national reforms. When I arrived in Australia from India, I was ‘someone’ in my thought. Someone important even though I didn’t do anything important to deserve it. But, for my own self I mattered a lot (in my own head), just like many youngsters in India strongly feel nowadays. They have this acquired sense of very high self esteem or superiority complex and to escalate that self esteem and pride, they spend a lot of money (the money that they can not / should not afford in the first place) on branded clothes, phones, perfumes, cars, fuel, night outs, outside food, and other similar ‘high status’ things. Even though with very little resources and no sense of reality these youngsters like me still go on and spend that kind of money on self claimed ‘necessities’ just to get a heightened sense of fulfilment that we belong in the upper class strata of society and compete with irrelevant peer pressure. We run away from our own reality, responsibilities as an individual, our country’s present degrading status in the whole world, and worse we choose to close our eyes on the starving and deprived people who do not even have enough to buy two proper meals in a day. Many intellectuals in and outside our country have contemplated the ‘faults’ of the system and everyone seems to blame the ‘West’. Now I wouldn’t say Australia is proper ‘West’ but it is a Westernised nation and honestly I feel more down to earth here than I ever was back home in India. Being here feels like being back in time where life was simpler, people were happier and means of living were easier. And from this far a distance life in India is not only chaotic but it resembles living in a giant bubble. A self imposed bubble of things that we do not require; respect that we no longer have for our elderlies; and zero empathy for the poor. From our TV Channels, media, magazines to simple things such as personal text messaging- everything in current ‘Western Indian society’ has a false sense of superiority complex. We’ve not only grown selfish with our attitude to living a commercial life, but we have also become greedy and inclined towards showing off materialistic goods which we didn’t require in the first place. When I hear about the prices of basic necessities like onions, tomatoes, and other food items going really up in India and then when I go shopping through the vegetable markets in Sydney, I spend about 2$ for a KG tomatoes and about 5$ a bag for onions (5kg) as the closing price. I can’t help but observe that I spend less here on the same basic food items (not to mention better quality too) than my family in India on the same thing. Sure, they have the money to afford that price, but then did someone mention the vast difference between the salaries of a normal middle income salaried person in Australia and Chandigarh? The contrast is so huge, yet the prices are comparable. Isn’t it ironical? Now not only the basic food prices, many other things such as clothing, commodities, clubbing, electronics, etc. is cheaper here than in India. People here buy what they like and not look at the brands. People value their hard earned money and spend it wisely. In reciprocation, retail and food industry values their customers and consumers which is a rare sight back home in India. On the other hand, we as youngsters in India only desire the best of everything. By the best of everything- I mean the most expensive and highly priced American brands (which to be honest are non existent here and are only bought by a very small fraction of oz population). The best of phones like the current model of iPhone, the most expensive shoes that there is in the market and we judge a thing by the price tag not by how comfortable it makes us feel. Additionally, the government too keeps their eyes close on major issues, just like a regular citizen runs away from their harsh personal and national reality. We blame our government for misleading us, corruption and everything else where all we want to do is have fun, buy branded goods and eat at overly priced restaurants. May be its time that we looked under our own hoods and valued money and our farmers/labour and stopped following a wrong image of being a Westerner- where I have realised that being a Westerner means living within our means which is earned by working and participating as a useful hand in the economy, a sense of responsibility towards the country, government, laws, empathy towards those who are less fortunate than us, no care in the world about what phone one uses or what car one drives as long as it is non polluting and efficient; value for money in terms of food, quality, education, etc. and uttermost respect for the labour class for their part in growing the economy. India has the resources and manpower to be one of the best and most responsible nations of the world, only and only if its every individual is cultivated with a sense of responsibility towards the economy, people, government, environment and most important- their personal self.